I Am a Ponarvian :: Personal Narrative Essays

I Am a Ponarvian Some of you have already scoured the dictionary in vain for a definition of the word "Ponarvian." One of my greatest ambitions is to get this word safely into Websters where it belongs. Until that happy time, the following definition will have to do: PONARV (PO narv) n. [acronym] A project of no apparent redeeming value. Hence, Ponarvian: one who pursues such projects. It is my contention that not some, but MOST of the greatest human triumphs in art, science, and technology have their root in the humble ponarv. All ponarvians, whatever their age, are children who simply like to play. If you ask them to justify their behavior, they will be unable to do so, or will provide what can only be described as a playful response. Basically, they just can't help it. They like to play. Throughout history, all great ponarvians have been surrounded by suffocating masses of anti-ponarvians. The anti-ponarvian is a gloomy person who divides the world into work and play, and who sees play as a regrettable lapse in the vital and unceasing pursuit of work. They define work as an activity which leads DIRECTLY to something valuable, and the only things they value are those things like food and shelter which enable them to survive long enough to procreate and produce more workers. To an anti-ponarvian, play is like sleep, a biological necessity which interferes with work and should therefore be minimized. They love to recite the fable of the grasshopper and the ant but never stop to consider that this story was written by an ant. They are the early birds: up at the crack of dawn, catching worms. Poets and pure mathematicians are ponarvians by definition. Mathematicians are sometimes forgiven by the anti-ponarvian masses because the equations they drop to one side in their foolish pursuit of elegant theorems and pleasing symmetries can be used to build factories which produce canons which can then be used to level factories (canons and factories are "useful"). But poets are eternally damned in the eyes of the anti-ponarvians because, after all, there is no money to made in poetry. It is one of nature's greatest ironies that these very poets and mathematicians so despised by the anti-ponarvians, these idle dreamers and crackpot inventors, are the very source of all the gadgetry and innovation which anti-ponarvians hold in such high esteem. I Am a Ponarvian :: Personal Narrative Essays I Am a Ponarvian Some of you have already scoured the dictionary in vain for a definition of the word "Ponarvian." One of my greatest ambitions is to get this word safely into Websters where it belongs. Until that happy time, the following definition will have to do: PONARV (PO narv) n. [acronym] A project of no apparent redeeming value. Hence, Ponarvian: one who pursues such projects. It is my contention that not some, but MOST of the greatest human triumphs in art, science, and technology have their root in the humble ponarv. All ponarvians, whatever their age, are children who simply like to play. If you ask them to justify their behavior, they will be unable to do so, or will provide what can only be described as a playful response. Basically, they just can't help it. They like to play. Throughout history, all great ponarvians have been surrounded by suffocating masses of anti-ponarvians. The anti-ponarvian is a gloomy person who divides the world into work and play, and who sees play as a regrettable lapse in the vital and unceasing pursuit of work. They define work as an activity which leads DIRECTLY to something valuable, and the only things they value are those things like food and shelter which enable them to survive long enough to procreate and produce more workers. To an anti-ponarvian, play is like sleep, a biological necessity which interferes with work and should therefore be minimized. They love to recite the fable of the grasshopper and the ant but never stop to consider that this story was written by an ant. They are the early birds: up at the crack of dawn, catching worms. Poets and pure mathematicians are ponarvians by definition. Mathematicians are sometimes forgiven by the anti-ponarvian masses because the equations they drop to one side in their foolish pursuit of elegant theorems and pleasing symmetries can be used to build factories which produce canons which can then be used to level factories (canons and factories are "useful"). But poets are eternally damned in the eyes of the anti-ponarvians because, after all, there is no money to made in poetry. It is one of nature's greatest ironies that these very poets and mathematicians so despised by the anti-ponarvians, these idle dreamers and crackpot inventors, are the very source of all the gadgetry and innovation which anti-ponarvians hold in such high esteem.